Finally! Can we stop saying goodbye to celebrities now? So I've entered the new year with a bastard cold. (Is that bad luck?) But that doesn't stop me from posting about every drop awesomeness I've experienced this year! Aside from many, MANY personal happenings, 2016 has been one crazy ass roller coaster. But I shall keep this post strictly writing related. Personal is personal. Back in Feb I witnessed my first claim to fame when Solihull Writers published an exerpt from my screenplay Haphazard. (AHEM, AHEM!!) Moving on to......... whatever month it was, lets say some time in spring, I entered my play The Gangster Game into a competition that could have possibly been the turning point in my career (let's see how time plays out), Sky Blue Theatre's THE BRITISH THEATRE CHALLENGE. June-ish (I think) my short story Lucky Penny came 3rd in Solihull Writers Short Story Competiton. Now look, highly commended is not something to be sniffed at! There are some bad ass writers in that group, some of which are already professional that I couldn't hold a bloody candle to! So yes, this was a definite win for me. Later that summer I'd already produced 2 new short films (look in VIDEOS). No budget, both very well received on social media. A nice edition to the repertoire, and a jolly good ego boost at that! Coming up to autum a friend approaches me who is well respected in the theatre business. He asks if he can commission one of my plays. Say WHAAAAAAAT?!!?!? Was my initial reaction. This story shall conclude. TO BE CONTINUED................ Now here comes the best bit....... August - I received the news. I'd won the British Theatre Challenge! My play was one of ten winners! (And did I forget to mention they'd received over 700 submissions?) November (probably) saw Solihull Writers second annual Short Story Competition. I didn't make the leaders board, but guess who came second? My own mother!! Way to go mum! (Yeah whatever, I love my mum and she's a great writer. I'm very proud of her.) December - Not only do I see my play performed in West End London, not only does it get filmed by a professional production company..... (AHEM, AHEM!!!) ..........But I get an outstanding appraisal from Lazy Bee Scripts offering to publish the bloody thing! Here! Go! Look, buy, perform, do whatever the hell you want with it: I did it! I'm a professional frickin writer! :D After all the buzz I needed some down time, which is when I created this little diddy: 2017 - So what's in the pipeline? Well, as I said, I have been offered commissioning for a new play, which I will get stuck into very soon. I have 3 short films lined up, plus my first ever music video! I have 2 new screenplays on the way, plus more competitions and festivals to endeavour. Wish me luck :D
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I WON! I BLOODY WON! HOLY MACARONI! (people still say that, right?) I can't........... this is.......... can't.......... make........... words................. Possibly the best news I've ever received while stuck in a tent in the pouring rain in the middle of Devon. This proceeded with a victory dance followed by a celebratory clinking of plastic cups filled with (what I didn't notice at the time) rancid Devonshire Scrumpy we bought from the on-sight shop that tasted like it had been left out in the sun for 3 days. But it's the thought that counts. Oh hell yes, this is going on my home page! So what happens now? Now I sit back and anxiously await the performance. But what's that you say? A live performance in the middle of West End London isn't enough? Well don't worry, they've only hired a high end production company to film the bloody thing. What? You want more? Okay, well how about possible publishing opportunities and one of the 10 winning plays being made into a short film? Watch this if you want the full details: After watching last years winning plays I knew it would be tough as there was some phenomenal talent in there. My particular favourite was "Nightwalking". Minimalism at it's finest, yet so inventive with the use of the ladder, balanced perfectly with beautifully flowing dialogue. And not forgetting high level of acting and direction throughout all of them.
The thing that feels most amazing is the fact this is an international competition. I was up against world wide talent, and to still be chosen is just an incredible feeling. Very happy bunny! ...................and oh, did I mention I came 3rd in Solihull Writers Short Story competition?! =) I used an idea I had for a screenplay, took out all the fluff, and voila! 3rd place! BOOM! Onwards and upwards! So I got shortlisted! Oh yeah, Sky Blue Theatre liked my play The Gangster Game. I didn't expect to get this far. Is chuffed the word? More like "OH MY F***ING GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING??!! XD" Can I get further? In the top ten? Who knows. To be honest, just to get this far is an epic win for me, so I'll bloody well take it. Entered the Depict 90 second film challenge...........and the Shore Scripts screenplay competition with Before The Midsummer (read description in SCRIPTS). Thought the Shakespeare aspect was rather fitting for this particular year of Shakespeare celebrations. Who knows.......... Apart from that, what have I been up to.......... well, I'm preparing to shoot a music video very soon (watch this space), plus I've developed about a hundred short film ideas, but have I written them? No! Why?! Because this......................... 7pm - I'm gonna write, I'm gonna write........... Just one game then I'm gonna write..............
1am - Ah shit! I'll write tomorrow.......... Endless cycle. But tomorrow, I'm gonna write. I AM going to write................................... My play "The Gangster Game" has been longlisted in The British Theatre Challenge: Guess I can consider this my first "win". Very happy. Someone likes it so I must be doing something right.
I entered 2 plays in this contest, a drama and a comedy. This is the comedy. I say comedy, more just a silly bit of nonsense. Possibly the silliest thing I've ever written. I honestly thought the drama would do better, but hey, if that's what they like I am certainly not complaining. Even if I don't go any further, this has given me confidence to pursue (perhaps) comedy. I guess I have a nack for that? Never thought I'd be headed in that direction, but hey, life! I'm overjoyed.
While writers block has been restraining my soul, I can officially say I have now finished my next feature. It's been a long process, but "Before the Midsummer" is finally done (read about in "SCRIPTS" section).
As my all time favourite Shakespeare, I have always wanted to adapt A Midsummer Nights dream, and the timing couldn't be more perfect. Right around Shakespeare's 400th celebrations. This screenplay took a 6 month gap during a difficult period involving my marriage. And since the story is about fucking marriage and a desirable thirst for love, you can see where my interest fell short. But fuck that, it's done. Even after the recurring problems of "How do I get from A to B", the plot finally developed itself, thank christ. Yeah, it's not perfect. Some scenes/dialogue could be stronger, and I now undergo the critique and re-write process (which I love), but overall I'm pleased with it. No, I'm fucking proud of it! It's a bad ass, sexually explicit, violence inducing, self discovering love story, and it's freaking awesome! The type of premise Max Landis gets hard over (she says with enforced optimism). erm...................... WOW!!! FREAKING WOW!! How the hell did that happen? Look, I'm no David Garrett or Sarah Chang, I sound more like Bert McCracken attempting opera. Half way through John Williams' Remembrances' My G string went out of tune (yeah yeah G string laugh it up you pathetic children) I wasted half my practice time for the sight reading tuning it back, so can someone tell me how the fuck I got such a ridiculously good mark? You know what, fuck that shit, I'm over the moon! I'm actually screaming right now, I can't believe this. I worked my ass off for this shit. And just to boost my ego that extra inch, I would like to point out I did this on my own! YEAH! I taught myself this shit! Ok, I had about 4 lessons a month before this exam, but mainly for reassurance. I've been studying for this for the past year and a half, so SUCK IT! I am actually qualified to study music at Oxford or Cambridge! Yeah, I could totally do that! I'm absolutely 100% not gonna, but I totally could, and that's awesome! I got my grade 8 in flute and piano before I left school. Did my grade 7 violin before leaving college, but uni then got in the way and I never got round to taking my grade 8. So here I am 10 years later and decided to do something about it. And now look. AAAGGGHHHH!!!! IM SO HAPPY!! GRADE 8 IN 3 INSTRUMENTS!! TRIPLE WAMMY!!! SUCK IT!! SERIOUSLY, SUCK IT!! Click, watch, then read: Give that girl a medal!
This mini documentary is soul inducing. Beautifully shot and well crafted whilst portraying a deep emotional message. As a classically trained musician myself, cellist Ruth Boden (with back muscles of steel) hits the nail on the head. Music is a journey, and no one see's the hardships we go through to get where we are. No, I can't exactly compete with playing Bach's cello suite on top of the Matterhorn, but I can relate in a metaphorical sense. Smart idea. When she reaches the top and gives us this beautiful rendition, I just want to high 5 this lady. It's like an insight to her personal journey, and that's something quite special. Yes, all you have is this memory, and what a memory it will be. Thanks for sharing it with us. Well done, Ruth, well done! And hats off to Gavin Carver, the one man film crew. Apparently the wind was a filming difficulty, but personally I think it added to the naturalism. Great work! It's hard pulling ideas out of your ass. Right now I'm writing about not writing! I'm in a slump. I've hit a wall. Got the old writers block, whatever. You know the worst part about finishing a project? the "what the fuck do I do with myself now?" brain. I'm doing my bloody grade 8 violin exam next week. Why? To massage my bloody ego, that's why! So that's been getting in the way of filming. So yeah, no short films this week cos my stupid conscience keeps telling me off for not practising enough. Don't want to anger the conscience. Conscience mean. Conscience make me do things! I tried filming something the other night, thought it was a good idea to speed film since I was lacking time. Create, direct and edit in an hour. And guess what? It looked like shit, my idea was shit, it was a big pile of shit. Turns out forcing creativity is not the best plan. Apparently it takes time and effort to create something good. Fancy that! So yeah, gave up on that. Once this bloody exam's out the way hopefully I can get back to the filming side of my brain again. What else, erm........ I've just finished 2 short plays to enter in the British Theatre Challenge competition. Worked on them to death, I just can't read through them any more. I'm at the stage where I could pretty much recite the whole thing as a monologue, SD and all. They're currently being proof read and critiqued by some fellow writer buddies (I love having fellow writer buddies) so just waiting on those. And er... yeah. Now I'm writing this. Therapeutic and brain stimulating. My wonderful blog that probably no one will read cos it's shit this is shit this is utter bullshit I'm writing bullshit just passing time with bullshit hello I'm writing a bullshit blog and you're reading my bullshit blog why are you reading my bullshit blog it's bullshit........... Now that I've padded out the previous paragraph with a few lines of bullshit I'm starting another paragraph to pad out the rest of this blog. Hm... I came up with a new screenplay idea; I'll call it First Date. It's about a couple on their first date. Shit happens, and by the end they're married and adopted like 16 kids from Africa and shit, it'll be just like that film with Pfeiffer and Clooney (yes had to google her name. She has a stupid name) "The Perfect Day" or something like that, but not as mundane. I'll add like guns and explosions and car crashes it'll be awesome! Or how about I make it artsy and just have them like talk for 2 hours over dinner? But I'll make their conversation totally spiritual and intellectual and capture peoples attention immediately so they have no idea they've just watched people talk for 2 hours........ Oh no wait that's "My Dinner with Andre". But holy fucking fire crackers was that good! Watched it the other night, yeah, had me hooked. Not much it say about it. Congratulations on your beautiful movie Andre Gregory and Wallace Shawn, and thanks for a lovely dinner. Also watched "The Martian", yeah, okay, pretty good. Not perfect, but every film, except on the very rare occasion, has it's flaws. Here's an excerpt from a facebook conversation I recently had critiquing the movie (I will copy and paste as I can't be assed typing again) : SPOILERS! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN "THE MARTIAN" DON'T READ THIS!! SCROLL DOWN TO SAFETY POINT": "It was very predictable, too much querky dialogue, how they kept going back to the captians disco music, felt there could have been more sciency stuff as i really enjoyed the bottany stuff and his experiments with the buggy, and they told the crew to not go after him, but then later told them to go after him I kinda saw that coming, i felt they could have cut out half an hour or so cos that was pretty pointless, all the actors looked way too pretty to be working in Nasa, "Oooh pretty blonde girl, but she's wearing glasses, that ultimately makes her a dork", felt the casting was a bit lazy, They could have built up the ending a bit more, and that final scene was fairly pointless, they could have finished before he gave that lecture, I kinda got he was teaching now. And I REALLY didn't like the credits, SOO CHEESY! And those 2 crew members who are now together and had that baby, very shoe-horned, but that's Ridley Scott for you. I felt they could have given the main guy a family or girlfriend or something, then it would be even more emotional when he see's them again, but yeah, other than that, i still really enjoyed, and i did cry at the end, even though i knew he'd be saved, still got to me. And I really love the concept, denotes that sense of isolation i did enjoy the dialogue, I'm not saying it was bad, cos it was very well written, I just felt there was too much querkiness and not enough sciency stuff. i think they were going for the more family friendly approach. personally, I think I'd have preferred it if it was just him. Fuck everyone else, like that film about the guy in the coffin, but on fucking Mars! And as you said, fuck if he gets saved or not, i dont care about that, I want to see how he survives if it was just 90 mins instead of 2 and a half hours" SAFETY POINT Yeah I love my sciency stuff. Hence the beautiful grammar and well thought out word selection no I didn't edit it, straight from facebook. But it is a good movie. Very entertaining, and for a mainstream sci-fi (and I'm not a sci-fi lover) they did a really good job. And the ultimate test, would I watch it again... Yes, I absolutely would. Now let's talk about WALKING MOTHER FUCKING DEAD MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!! SPOILERS!!! WALKING DEAD SPOILERS!!!! SCROLL DOWN TO SAFETY POINT!!!! OH MY GOD CARL'S EYE, RICHONNE, HILLTOP, JESUS, FUCKING RICK PELTING THAT KNIFE, AND THE BLOOD, AND HE'S LIKE "What?" OMG NEGAN FUCKING NEGAN'S COMING I'VE BEEN WAITING YEARS FOR THIS MOMENT I'VE READ THE COMICS THE COMICS ARE SO SO SICK MOTHER FUCKER OMG IT'S ALL TOO MUCH I NEED TO BREATHE I NEED TO BREATHE SAFETY POINT So yeah, that's it for this post I guess. |
AuthorWell... I'm human just like the rest of you. But I suppose you're not all a woman approaching 30. Archives
January 2017
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